The present Kink of the Week topic is Lists.
I am a big lover of lists, but I am terrible at actually doing them, I have lots of fanciful ideas about having lists for all kinds of things, but they rarely ever materialise. I’m not really sure why.
I have always had a very good memory; however, over the last couple of years I have started to forget the odd thing, and despite always meaning to write out a to-do list, I generally still choose to try and remember everything instead. A good example of this is a shopping list. When I used to go to the supermarket each week, before Covid 19 hit, I always took a list, Yet, I rarely looked at it until I had finished. I usually remembered most of what was on it, but there were always a few items that I had forgotten on the way around, so I would then have to do another circuit to get those items. I have no idea why I never kept track.
A couple of years ago, while in a museum gift shop, I saw a lovely book about lists. It had dozens of pre-printed pages with titles and space for all different kinds of lists, such as favourite books, films, people, foods etc. I was very taken with this book, but there was only one copy and it was well thumbed, plus I knew that several of the subjects in it were not of interest or relevant to me. So I decided to do my own book of lists as I had several very pretty unused notebooks. And I still do have several very pretty unused notebooks. I started to do my book of lists, but got as far as filling two pages with books that I had read that year and books I wanted to read. And that was it. I still have inspiration for adding more to this famous book of lists, but I don’t actually do it And I don’t know why, other than it never seems like a priority.
I am not a disorganised person – far from it. I manage to remember most of what I have to do in life and often remember what other people should be doing too. I do have spurts where I do make to do lists. Occasionally. I even make a list of the stuff I have already done that day or week and then tick it off just for the hell of it. And I find that quite therapeutic. I have a Circle Planner – as recommended by Molly – and that is where I try and do my lists, when I do actually decide to do them. And I do get a sense of satisfaction when they are done. I just seem to have a mental block about keeping up the habit of making lists. Having said I have this wonderful planner, I still have a bad habit of grabbing scraps of paper and writing stuff on those instead. Again, I don’t know why! I think part of my problem is that I have become somewhat apathetic and lack motivation. I rarely have deadlines, so most things I have to get done can be done as and when I feel like it. I do actually prefer to have a timetable in life to give me focus and help me function. I’m always in awe of people who have super efficient personal organisation systems and brightly coloured spreadsheets and I wish I had the motivation to do the same.
I have many ideas for things that I would like to do, whether that be photos or posts for my blog, or normal everyday things, or even things I would like to buy when I have enough money. However, what seems like a great idea one day will seem a stupid or very bad idea the following day, and I find that happens to me frequently. I usually put this down to self-doubt, which is ever present in my life. I guess what I should do is make lists of my bright ideas and make sure that I do carry them out at some point.
I don’t even have a written down bucket list for sex, although I do hold some ideas in my head. And I’m pleased to say that some of those ideas have become reality.
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