Orgasms, it is said, come in one person sizes. We all, if we’re lucky enough to have them, experience them in our own way. The only orgasms we ever truly experience are our own as they are almost entirely internal. What we feel is unique to us, our mood, the stimulation we’re experiencing and the circumstances under which they are being experienced.
So, this week, what we want to know is:
Do you remember your first orgasm? How old were you? Tell us about it.
The first time I had sex was at the age of 17, and it was with my first ‘proper’ boyfriend, who was 21. I think there was very little foreplay, as I certainly was not wet and it was painful, as he struggled to enter me. I remember wondering when the fireworks and amazing sensations were going to start. They never came, but he did. Quite quickly. It was all quite an anti-climax. I had been building up to this moment for so long, imagining all sorts of wonderful pleasures. I felt cheated somehow and was left wondering what all the fuss about sex was. This feeling was made worse by me not being too thrilled about the mess left afterwards, either. I was quite naive about sex back then: sex education at home and at school had consisted of a brief description of how sex was a functional process for making babies. I knew, of course, from the media and listening to others that it was also to be enjoyed, but I didn’t know anything about getting aroused beforehand. I thought that the magic ‘just happened’.
I was shortly to realise how pleasurable other forms of sex could be. I can’t remember whether it was on the same day, or on another occasion, but he introduced me to the delights of oral sex. Being naive, I thought that sex only happened when a man was on top of a woman. It was a complete revelation to me that anyone would use their mouth for sexual pleasure. He certainly knew where my clit was. But, I was overwhelmed with how good it felt, and it was only a few days afterwards that I realised the sensations experienced were me being brought to orgasm with his tongue. After that, neither of us could get enough of oral sex. He loved going down on me as much as I enjoyed him doing it. I recall him being quite intrigued with how incredibly wet it made me. And I still am as aroused by oral sex today as I was thirty years ago!
What is your favourite way to reach/be brought to a climax?
Without doubt, if I am with S, my favourite way to orgasm is by oral sex. I have written a number of times about my love of oral sex.
If I am by myself then the Doxy Number 3 is my current favourite toy.
What is the easiest/fastest way for you to have an orgasm? How long does it normally take you?
The speed at which I orgasm depends on how turned on I am. If S is going down on me, then it can take anywhere between five and fifteen minutes for me to orgasm. When we met the GP, I think it was about two minutes… Having two men touching me was a massive turn on!
If I am using my Doxy Number 3, it can take less than a minute, but it is usually a few minutes.
How many times a week do you try to reach orgasm? Typically, how often do you manage to get off?
I try and have an orgasm each day, but it isn’t always possible due to other things getting in the way. I would say that on average I manage it on five days per week, and sometimes it’s more than once a day.
Have you ever had an orgasm at the same time as your partner? Who normally comes first?
I have had a couple of orgasms at the same time as someone else during penetrative sex, but that was a long time ago. As I explained in my post on erotic massage, penetrative sex doesn’t feature much in my life, and S and I usually concentrate solely on each other’s orgasm, as seen in my image below. S always wants to pleasure me first as he is a kind and considerate lover plus it arouses him to see me getting turned on. I think he is one of the few men I have encountered that actually knows how to give a woman an orgasm and doesn’t put his own pleasure first. We actually had this conversation earlier this week, and in his words ‘most men just want to get it in’, which has certainly been my experience!
Have you ever faked an orgasm? What were the reasons/circumstances that led you to fake it?
Yes, I have faked orgasms in the past, and each time the reason was because the sex was so bad that I just wanted to get it over and done with. Never with S, though…