This week, Food For Thought Friday asks if intercourse is our main form of sexual activity, and, if not, what do we do instead?
When I arranged to meet S the first time for sex, I went along equipped with my own supply of condoms. This has always been my practice, but having recently experienced a couple of men trying to get away without using condoms, I was even more on my guard than usual. I knew he was going to give me a tantric massage, but I assumed he would also want to fuck me at some point that time.
S gave me a wonderful erotic massage, which lasted about ninety minutes. I didn’t orgasm despite his best efforts to achieve this. I put it down to me being very nervous and apprehensive. He didn’t give up, though, and gave me a wonderful orgasm from oral sex, which generally usually works for me. I gave him a blowjob, which he adored. Penetrative sex didn’t get mentioned, which surprised me.
We met again a week later, and much the same happened as during our first meeting. Again, the act of fucking didn’t arise – I did wonder why, but didn’t dwell on it.
Our meetings became a regular weekly arrangement, and each time without any intercourse. Early on in our relationship, I learned how to perform erotic (lingam) massage techniques on S. Long sensual massages were our foreplay, which culminated in an explosive happy ending for both of us, either by hands or tongues. We also frequently experimented with sex toys, and both enjoyed this immensely.
The absence of penetrative sex still lingered in the back of my mind, but I didn’t feel comfortable in asking outright why S never initiated it. At that time, our relationship only involved meeting for sex once a week, and wasn’t anything more. On a couple of occasions early on, once his cock became hard from my massaging techniques, I tried to sit astride him. Each time, his cock deflated instantly. I sensed he felt a bit embarrassed, and I reassured him it wasn’t an issue.
I also was aware that I’d never seen S get a spontaneous erection, and it was apparent that an erection only occurred following constant stimulation. I learned after a few months that he took Viagra to help with getting an erection. Cardiological problems along with age meant achieving and maintaining an erection was difficult without constant stimulation. Once I stopped stimulating his cock, it deflated.
One of the side effects of taking Viagra is a bad headache, and I was concerned that he suffered this each time we met for sex. I suggested we try without him taking the little blue pill. It does take bit longer to get him aroused, but I love to watch the pleasure on his face and see his reactions as I perform the different massage techniques that I know will turn him on. And I get a huge amount of satisfaction from seeing my handiwork transform a limp, soft penis into a solid, upstanding cock.
We have managed to have penetrative sex on some occasions, and S has orgasmed through it. However, he says that the orgasms achieved through erotic massage are much more powerful and pleasurable. I am in control then, and can bring him close to orgasm several times before deciding when to allow him to come.
I would like to S to fuck me more often, as I do miss the intimacy that intercourse brings. I love to feel his cock inside me and the closeness of his body on top of mine, or me on top of him. For me, it’s certainly not about reaching orgasm, which, in any event, has always been a rare occurrence in intercourse.
The absence of fucking in our relationship isn’t a major issue, as both of us enjoy using our hands and tongues, as well as sex toys to pleasure each other. Plus I get the regular delights of an erotic massage on my own body. And, of course, occasionally, there’s another cock around to join in the fun, too.
Click the image below to see the other thoughts on the different ways people have sex.