Thoughts on Kink, Fetish and BDSM

The theme for the fourth round of the Summer 100 challenge is ‘Kink, Fetish and BDSM’. Following the theme isn’t compulsory, and I decided that I wouldn’t bother writing anything, as my knowledge of these subjects is limited.  However, I gathered together a few thoughts, and I have produced more than I expected.

Kink

A person’s unusual sexual preference.

Oxford Dictionary

I have never really thought of myself as kinky, as, for me, BDSM-type interests tend to be what spring to mind as being kinks.  Having thought I would not have much to say on this subject, I did a bit of research, and I found several websites with lists of kinks: one of which extended to 420 entries. On reading the lists, I realised that some of my sexual interests do fall within what is considered to be a kink: threesomes, swingingexhibitionism, oral sex and voyeurism.  And all of the lists were varied in their content; what is considered to be a kink seems a very  subjective issue, as we all have different ideas. But, Molly’s Kink of the Week blogging meme covers a huge spectrum of subjects, and, having taken part a few times, I can definitely say it has something for all tastes!

So, maybe I am a just a little bit kinky?!

Fetish

A form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, item of clothing, part of the body, etc.

Oxford Dictionary

When I read the definition of fetish. I couldn’t think of any particular instance for myself where this would apply. However, although it wasn’t for my own gratification,  I did explore selling worn knickers, and I have written about my experience here.

BDSM

Bondage, discipline (or domination), sadism, and masochism (as a type of sexual practice).

Oxford Dictionary

This is a topic that is a bit difficult for me. I have written before about my husband’s deep interest in corporal punishment, spanking and footwear.  When we first met, although it wasn’t something I found arousing, I did participate with great enthusiasm, despite me not feeling entirely comfortable in that type of situation. Over the years, I slowly came to realise that there was a huge amount of giving on my part, but no giving or flexibility from him as he refused to participate in, or even consider, sexual practices that I enjoyed, such as oral sex and exhibitionism. As a result, I lost interest in any form of sexual contact with him, and sex became the elephant in the room. He told me early on in our relationship that he did not have to rely on corporal punishment to enjoy sex and could switch this off  to enjoy ‘normal’ sex. However, I was always doubtful about this, and after 18 years, he told me that this was a lie and he did rely on corporal punishment to enjoy sex. This admission made me incredibly upset,  as had I known for certain I might have made different choices in life.

Many of the people I follow on Twitter are into BDSM in some form or another, and I genuinely enjoy reading about their opinions and thoughts, despite it not being my thing. Occasionally, I do see something pop into my Twitter timeline that makes me uncomfortable and stirs up bad memories for me, but I deal with it, and I certainly would not stop engaging with someone because of their interests.

Not long after I met S, he told me that one of the unfulfilled and curoius areas of sex for him was electro sex. He had been keen to try electrical stimulation on his cock and balls, but, sadly, due to a medical issue, this is no longer a possibility.

Fairycake has written about why she finds BDSM therapeutic  and Krystle has recounted a hot tale of being handcuffed to a hotel bed in Las Vegas.

Desertrose7 / Pixabay

Having said that I am not into any type of BDSM, I must admit that I am a little bit curious about wax play, and one day might be tempted to investigate this further…

Finally, as my knowledge of kink/fetish/BDSM is limited,  I may have unintentionally used an incorrect term or association in this post.

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