The Importance of Cunnilingus

‘I recently had to attend a dentist appointment and, as frequently happens, the dentist was running considerably behind schedule. Having exhausted my Twitter feed on my phone, I picked up a recent  copy of a magazine aimed at young women and flicked through the usual inane adverts and articles. I am not usually interested in most of the ‘bilge’ contained in magazines. but an article on sex advice from friends and family caught my eye.  One quote, in particular, regarding oral sex, touched a nerve with me and has played on my mind since the appointment. So, today, when I returned for further treatment, I was relieved to find the magazine was still there, so I could take a photo.

Capture

It’s absolutely correct – cunnilingus is very important. 

For me, receiving and giving oral sex has always been very important and almost every partner I have had has been delighted to participate. I was introduced, at the age of 17, to the wonders of oral sex by my first boyfriend, and it was this that gave me my first orgasm, although being a bit naive at the time, I didn’t realise what the amazing sensations were that I was feeling. It’s not just the pleasure that oral sex brings; I think that the whole experience is one of the most intimate and erotic that two people can share.’

Oral sex was missing from my life for over 20 years as I entered into a relationship with a man who seemed right for me., but was repulsed by performing oral sex on a woman. He also disliked receiving it. I thought it wouldn’t matter if l lived without oral sex for the rest of my life, but it mattered very much.  Especially as I completely threw myself into his kink, which was certainly not mine.  I couldn’t have done more to encourage him and indulge his preferences even though I didn’t particularly enjoy it. After 18 years, I started to question the situation, realising that I had forgotten my own sexual needs in order to accommodate someone else. I felt stupid and was angry with myself  for not taking notice of the warning signs, and entering into a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship.

When I started my quest for a sexual partner back in 2014, one of my stipulations was that they had to enjoy giving and receiving oral sex.  However, I found that most guys thought that they just had to randomly stick their tongue in every part of my pussy as quickly as they could, which, of course, may work for some women.  At that point in time, I didn’t have the confidence to tell them where they should be aiming for. One of the guys I met was very enthusiastic, but the noises he made reminded me of a dog loudly and greedily eating from its bowl, which I found a massive turn off.

Only one guy concentrated on my clit. He did make me come, which was the first time I had orgasmed from oral sex in over 20 years. He had a beard too, which tickled when he went down on me, so maybe that helped…!

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I saved this beautiful image a few years ago when I never thought I would receive oral sex again. Source: unknown

Everything changed when I met S, who took great delight in licking my pussy with enthusiasm and skill right from our first sexual encounter. He managed to make me orgasm despite me being incredibly nervous and self-conscious at that first meeting. I never have to ask him to go down on me as he is eager to get stuck in as soon as he can. And I get so much pleasure from looking down and seeing his head between my thighs. Knowing that he is getting pleasure from the act of pleasuring me is a big turn-on and very heartwarming.

I asked him what he enjoyed about giving oral sex, and here is his lovely reply:

‘I like to tease you with the tip of my tongue and feel your body respond. I love your response to my warm breath on your pussy. I enjoy feeling your clit get hard against my tongue. Your pussy is so pretty, and I love to watch it open like a flower and close again after you orgasm.’

Discovering that men really do enjoy going down on a woman is still a novelty for me. I have written about our encounters with the GP and, like S, he has incredible oral skills with his delight being obvious. Isabelle has written about how  her husband is also a big fan of performing oral sex.

So, for me, cunnilingus is very important! However, we are all different, and it’s OK not to enjoy oral sex, as Ani discusses.

Click below to see more Summer 100 musings

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I have also submitted this post to the Oral Sex Project at Rebel’s Notes.

oralsex69

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