A Dark Horse

In the (erotic) blogging community people frequently hide their real identities. This week we want to hear your thoughts on this…

Dark horse:

A person who keeps their interests and ideas secret, especially someone who has a surprising ability or skill

Cambridge Dictionaries Online

I like the expression ‘dark horse’ and I feel it sums my personality up very well. I have never been an extrovert or brash character and, throughout life, frequently felt it was a struggle to find my place within a group of people,  mainly with other women.  I  was often more  at ease in the company of men. With friendships,  I was often overlooked or dropped in favour of what others would probably deem as more exciting or interesting characters. People that I usually considered to be loudmouthed, with shallow personalities. This, combined with other negative events in life, left me with a very low opinion of myself and an assumption by me that I was uninteresting, didn’t deserve to be happy and therefore less important than others.

I never followed the crowd and always preferred to do things a little differently to other people, albeit usually subtly.  For example, I chose a red dress to get married in rather than a traditional neutral colour. I am naturally quite reserved and not a chatterbox, so anyone meeting me for the first time might assume that I am a little standoffish. I also think I display quite an innocent demeanour and  many people in the real world would be quite shocked to discover the real me. I have always been very open-minded, sexually, and am shocked or surprised by very little.

For many years, I harboured desires to show my body off, but never had the confidence or a partner that was interested in exploring this with me. It was only two years ago that I accidentally  stumbled across the dark corner of Twitter through a retweet into my normal Twitter account. I was really surprised to see that sexual content was permitted!  Little did I know that this moment would open up a whole new dimension to my life. My alter ego, Miss Scarlet, was then created and I used Twitter to share tasteful pictures of myself, mainly to improve my own confidence but I also wondered if  anyone would actually find me attractive or desirable.

I was amazed at the response I got and at the kindness and positivity shown to me and to others in a similar situation. I then decided to start writing this blog, which was another way for me to develop my self-confidence and to share my thoughts and opinions on sex and body positivity.  As a result of that and being inspired by other users of Twitter and their blogs, I embarked on a journey to rediscover myself, sexually, which has proved interesting and has led to some experiences that I never could have imagined.

image of dark horse

I have discovered so much about myself and there are hidden depths still to be explored. I know that I am desirable and I never cease to be astounded and overwhelmed at the compliments I receive, both online, and in real life, regarding my body and  sexuality.

I get a real kick out of the fact that the world sees a sweet and innocent exterior each day, but no-one has any idea about what I consider to be my real identity: the person I show here.  A dark horse.

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